Booklet for youth ages 15-17
Some Things Are Not Ok: What You Should Know About Online Child Sexual Exploitation
(For youth aged 15 to 17 years old)
What you need to know
If you are like many teens, you may spend a lot of time on connected devices — both at home and at school. Maybe you play games or watch videos. Maybe you create your own content. Maybe you interact with your friends online or even with people you don’t know well.
You should be aware that not everyone you meet online is who they say they are, and not everyone is safe to interact with. Even if they seem friendly, you need to be careful. Some of them may try to manipulate you into creating or sending sexual images or videos of yourself or to meet them somewhere offline. But you can protect yourself. Keep reading to learn how to avoid the risks of online child sexual exploitation and stay safe online.
Sexual images and videos: what you should do if you see or get them
Spending time online is probably a big part of how you learn, have fun and connect with people. You have likely come across images, videos and other content online that is not meant for youth or was meant to be private. This includes pornography or sexually suggestive material.
It’s ok to be curious about sex and sexuality, but some things were never meant to be shared.
Where might you see them?
You might come across unwanted sexual images and videos anytime you use an internet enabled device. They can show up when you’re doing searches, visiting websites, using apps and social media, watching videos or playing games. Someone may even send them to you by text, chat or email.
What do you do if they are sent to you?
No one should be sending you sexual images or videos if you don’t want them to. If someone does:
- Do not reply to this person
- Tell a parent or another safe adult what they sent you
- Don’t keep this a secret, even if they ask you to
- Tell them to stop and consider breaking off contact — your relationship may not be healthy and they may be trying to control or harm you in some way
- If they are making you feel unsafe or trying to get you to do things you don’t want to, report them on Cybertip.ca or contact the police
What do you do if you come across them?
- Don’t share sexual images or videos with your friends or others — it may hurt someone and they may not want to see them
- If they appear where others can see them, like in your social media or comment sections, delete them if you can
- If you are upset, confused, or feel uncomfortable or in danger, talk to a parent or another safe adult
Online grooming: what it is and how to protect yourself
Online grooming is when someone becomes friends with a minor online in order to control and take advantage of them for a sexual purpose, whether online or in-person. You need to be prepared, because it is a growing issue in Canada — and it can put you in real danger.
How does it happen?
All encounters are different, but it can happen like this:
- Someone approaches you online — it can even be someone you know
- They may use a fake profile to pretend to be someone they’re not
- They try to build a connection with you by talking about things you’re interested in
- They may give you gifts or compliments
- They may exploit existing relationships with your friends or online groups
- Once they gain your trust, they will sexualize the relationship by talking about sex or trying to engage in sexual touching or activity
- They may even ask you to meet in person
What can you do?
- Use your privacy settings
- Be aware that they may be someone you know and think you can trust, even someone you think you are in a relationship with
- Keep personal information private — like your name, phone number, where you are, and details about your life
- Trust your gut and never do anything that makes you uncomfortable — it’s always your choice and it is never too late to say no
- Never arrange to meet someone you don’t know or do know but have suspicions about
- Block or break off contact
- Tell your parent or another safe adult
- If safe to do so, keep a record for evidence
- Report it to Cybertip.ca
- Know it is not your fault — it’s not OK for adults to give sexual attention to teens
It’s ok to interact with people online, but not for them to make you feel uncomfortable.
Sexting and sextortion: what they are and how to deal with them
Thinking about sex and exploring your sexuality is a normal, healthy part of growing up. It’s important to be careful about your choices and who you decide to trust, because it can have unexpected consequences and it may even make you vulnerable to people who want to take advantage of you.
What is sexting?
Sexting is creating, sending or sharing intimate or sexual messages, images or videos with friends, people you know or even strangers online or through a connected device. It could be sending naked images of yourself or others, sharing a video of someone naked or having sex, or sending a text describing sexual acts.
No one has the right to pressure you into sharing naked images. It may seem harmless when it is with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but be aware that once an image is sent, there’s no way of knowing where it will end up.
How can it impact you or your friends?
In the wrong hands, these images can end up hurting you or other people in different ways:
- It can make you a target of people who want to force or pressure you into sexual situations you don’t want to be in
- It can be very upsetting when they are shown to or commented on by other people
- It can affect the way people see you or act around you, and how you see the world
- It can damage your mental health and self-esteem
- It can have a negative impact on your future education, job and other opportunities
- In many cases, creating and sharing sexualized images of someone under the age of 18 years is illegal
What is sextortion?
Simply put, sextortion is blackmail. It’s when someone threatens to send a sexual image or video of you to friends, family or other people if you don’t provide more sexual images or videos or do what they ask.
What can you do?
You cannot control what other people do, so it is best to avoid the situation:
- Understand what a healthy relationship looks like — loving, respectful and caring, not manipulative, intimidating or pressuring
- Immediately block and stop all communication
- Refuse to give in to threats — do not send more nudes or pay them money
- Keep the correspondence to show those who will help you
- If you get sent sexual materials, don’t forward them to others — you may hurt someone else
- Ask for help from parents, teachers, or another safe adult
- Report it to Cybertip.ca
- Get help removing sexual images or videos of yourself from the internet at NeedHelpNow.ca
It’s ok to explore sex and sexuality, but not when it might harm you or someone else.
Capping: what it is and how to deal with it
Capping is known as lying for many, but it can also mean when someone, usually an adult, records or screenshots you and your body and what you’re doing over a video call — often without you knowing they are recording. It can happen when you are on your computer, tablet, or phone, or when you’re playing games online, and it can put you in a harmful situation.
How does it happen?
Capping usually happens fast, and here is how it may occur:
- Someone approaches you online pretending to be someone they are not — often someone around your age
- They may ask you to video chat
- They may show you a “bait video” that shows someone else to trick you into having a conversation with them
- They may respond to your questions or requests using a chat feature to not reveal who they really are
- They may ask you to do things like take your clothes off, touch yourself or engage in other sexual activities, sometimes offering to do the same for you
- If you do what they ask, they will record it, even if it was live-streaming, and share it with other people — it can end up places like pornography websites or the dark web without your knowledge
- They may threaten to share this video with your friends or family to manipulate you into doing more things and/or they may demand you send them money
What can you do?
There are people who will try to take advantage of you online. Here are some ways to protect yourself:
- Know that people are not always who they appear to be
- Keep personal information private — like your name, phone number, where you are and details about your life
- Don’t rush into doing things someone else asks you to — trust your instincts
- If you ever feel like a situation is out of your control, talk to a safe adult
- Refuse to give in to someone uttering threats or who doesn’t take “no” for an answer — persistence is often controlling and harmful behaviour
- Block or break off contact immediately — what the person is doing is illegal
- Tell a parent or another safe adult
- You can reach out to KidsHelpPhone.ca, report it at Cybertip.ca, or get help removing images at NeedHelpNow.ca
It’s ok if you get in over your head. But you are not alone. Ask for help!
Need help or know someone who does?
You’re not alone. You can get help now.
- Tell a safe adult like a parent or a teacher or a police officer
- Contact KidsHelpPhone.ca by calling 1-800-668-6868 or texting 686868
- Report what happened at Cybertip.ca
- Get help removing sexual images or videos of yourself from the internet at NeedHelpNow.ca
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